When someone ends up in jail, it’s not just them doing time. Everyone who loves them feels it too. Families, partners, kids, even friends – they end up carrying a piece of the weight. People think prison is just bars and cells, but the wall stretches way past the yard. It divides lives and makes relationships way more complicated than most people talk about.
Inside, relationships become lifelines. Letters, phone calls, visits – these are the times that you remember you are human. Mail call, having a letter mailed to you from someone on the outside, makes you feel not forgotten. But the same things that keep you going also remind you of what you’re missing. Hearing your child’s voice age, hearing about holidays you weren’t there for – it cuts deep. It is not easy for a spouse, even though they are free. They are not genuinely free; their lives are also on hold, and they lack a say in certain situations that affect the family. It’s hard to keep a connection strong when life keeps pulling in different directions. Sometimes people grow apart not because they stop caring, but because the wall makes it hard to keep carrying the weight.
Romantic relationships can be the hardest. Some couples make it, but a lot don’t. Having trust is imperative, and having an understanding that things will not feel the same until you are free. We must understand that this is the new reality. Not everyone can stay committed and live without physical touch, so sometimes, when they’re on the outside, they decide to move on. You have to be prepared for that. You cannot expect their life to be 100% different because of your poor choices.
Friendships shift, too. The people you thought were solid sometimes disappear. Not always out of malice – sometimes out of discomfort. They don’t know what to say, or react. You could of went to prision as a young adult and when you are released you are middled aged. Some of your friends have children of their own even grandchildren. They no longer want any memoris of their past to be in their present. I know someone who spent 27 year’s in prison for murder. When he was finally released he went back to his old neiborhood and things looked different than he remembered. One of his close friends he inquired to find out where they lived. The man was able to get the address. He went unvited thinking that his child buddy would open his door and be excited to see him. That was not the case at all. His childhood friend while he was in prision he was an NYPD police actually retired NYPD officer living with his wife and children. What he did next the former inmate did not expect. He didnt allow him inside of his home. He told him to wait outside. The former inmate did not what to think. When he came back out he handed him some money. Wow the former inmate felt happy but the next words brought him back to reality. His former friend told him he is not welcomed at his home and this no longer back in the day. At the end of the day you will find some people who remain their for you but not ever will and you have to be prepared to hanle that.