Nothing and no one can prepare you for loss.
It is something that we all go through and is completely inevitable.
Loss is one of the hardest things we all go through and through it all, we feel a host of emotions that we sometimes do not know how to deal with.
So how do we deal with these emotions?
When we think about grief, we think about how the mind and the heart respond to losing someone we care deeply about.
It’s interesting how different people respond.
Sometimes people go numb.
They may not even cry when they hear the news.
It may seem completely unreal to them.
While most feel complete sadness and maybe even anger.
That feeling of a heavy heart is more than just letter words.
You may even feel angry and upset those things had to go the way it did.
I remember when I lost my brother at a young age, I was so confused and felt like it was my fault that my brother died.
Did I do something wrong?
Was it because I told on him the night before for being mean to me?
There is no one right answer to cope with loss and everyone has different ways that they do this, but I want to provide a few ways that may be beneficial to some.
I feel the best way to deal with loss is to talk about your feelings.
Holding it in just builds up pain that never goes away and can lead to anger.
A lot of people feel like they have to always be strong and not allowed to cry but it is okay to cry.
Crying is a form of healing.
I remember when I lost my brother, my mother resulted to writing.
She would write poems, and I remember I recited it at my brother’s wake.
It felt good to release those words for her as I knew she wouldn’t be able to say them on her own.
The days leading up to the funeral, the entire family spent time together and we just spoke about all the good times we all shared with him.
We shared pictures, and stories and used the time to be around people who loved us and loved my brother.
I do not believe there is no way to cope but I do think its important to do “something”.
Sometimes you may feel stuck and not know what to do.
Some people may need that extra push, like a counselor to help them get through there feelings.
Although I was only in elementary school when I lost my brother, my behavior changed tremendously.
I remember there was a counselor who would come once a week to my school to talk to me throughout the remainder of that school year.
She helped me work through my feelings and emotions that I didn’t even realize was an issue at the time.
Still to this day, I never really know what to say when people I love lose a loved one.
I guess the best thing to do is just be present.
Listen to them share their feelings.
Let them know that you are there for them.
Try to find ways to uplift them.
And know that although they may not want to hang out or do anything fun, be mindful and know that they know you care.
Be patient.
Loss is a part of life that we cannot change.
The love that you shared with those you may have lost will always be in you.
