More than 2.7 million (1 in 28) children in the United States currently have a parent who is in jail or prison.
These children often experience many difficulties in their lives, including feeling overwhelmed, being hurt, struggling in school, and having money problems.
Lots of kids don’t talk about their stress because they’re afraid that it will make their situation worse if people know their parent is in jail.
Be an anchor of support
Kids who can bounce back from tough situations usually have a reliable grown-up in their life who cares about them and helps them out.
Adults who support and help children can give them guidance and advice to learn skills that will help them cope with their parent being in prison.
Keep open communication
Children whose parents are in prison will most likely have difficult times and go through tough situations like being treated badly and facing unfair treatment.
A child’s mom, dad, or person taking care of them may not know every answer or be able to fix every problem.
However, they can help people become stronger by keeping an open line of communication.
Here are some suggestions from the C.A.R.E.S. approach to help support resilience:
- Create a safe environment for the child to talk freely.
- Acknowledge and validate the child’s concerns.
- Reassure the child that they are not alone.
- Encourage active play and skill building.
- Share honest and age-appropriate information with the child.
Prioritize stability
Children often have to deal with significant losses when a parent goes to jail.
They might not have someone to take care of them, they could have to leave the place they live, they may have to change schools, and they might lose the people they consider as friends.
Caregivers can make the child feel better by trying to keep things the same for them as much as they can. Establishing regular habits can be beneficial.
When it’s not possible, it’s better to make changes gradually, so children don’t feel like they’ve lost everything all at once.
Encourage active skill building
Children build resilience through academic, athletic, cultural, or other challenging activities.
These activities teach children to develop problem-solving skills in a fun setting.
For example, playing team sports can help a child develop friendships or find a coach who could be a supportive adult.
Children who learn an instrument can build skills that help channel frustrations.
Involve other supportive adults
When a child’s parent is incarcerated, it is common for caregiver to feel overwhelmed with new responsibilities.
Asking other trusted adults for help may improve the situation for both caregiver and child.
A wider network of supportive adults can also help children of incarcerated parents continue to build resilience.
Examples of other supportive adults include extended family members, teachers, coaches, neighbors and members of their religious community.
Consider helping the child connect with their incarcerated parent
Many kids want to keep in touch with their parent who is in jail.
If the relationship between the parent in jail and the child is good, the parent can still be a helpful and supportive adult.
Staying in touch can make a child feel less sad and can help them feel safe and secure.
There may be barriers to communicating with a family member who is incarcerated, but families can write, call, email, and participate in video visits.
Families can also remember and plan creative ways to celebrate special occasions, such as birthdays, graduations, and other important milestones that include the incarcerated parent.
Look into programs that can help
Primary caregivers should evaluate whether they are eligible for social welfare assistance.
Programs such as Temporary Assistance for Needy Families, Medicaid, or housing assistance can significantly reduce financial burdens.
There are also a number of community programs specifically designed to support children of incarcerated parents.
These programs offer a variety of services, from mentorship to counseling and therapy.
Caregivers can talk to a child’s pediatrician to identify local resources in their community.