Summary
how life skills can help returning citizens reenter and participate in everyday life
Life skills are necessary for full and successful participation in everyday life. So what are “Life Skills”?
Life Skills are all the things that enable us to interact socially with other people in our community. They are also the skills we use to maintain a roof over our head, a job, and food on our table. Being able to pay bills, get to work on time, listen to other people, and resolving conflicts are a few examples. In this blog series we are going to discuss some “critical social life skills”. Negotiation, Conflict Resolution, Empathy, Listening, and Ability to Explain. Today’s blog is about Negotiation.
NEGOTIATION
You may encounter negotiation with family, friends, buying a car, your boss at work, or selling something.
One of the keys to negotiation is to understand that there does not have to be a winner and loser. The point of negotiation is to recognize the other person’s situation and try to find a common ground acceptable to you both. A good example is if both spouses want to watch a different show on tv. Try to understand how much the other person dislikes the show you want to watch and both of you can try to choose a 3rd show you both like a little bit or take turns choosing what to watch. That is a negotiation.
Have a plan before you negotiate. Know your facts and how you will go about negotiating. Know what your limit is before negotiating. You need to be flexible, but if you set a reasonable limit then stick to it once the limit is reached.
Understand the other person’s position and why. Listen. By listening with an open mind you may find out other possible ways to reach an agreement. Listening also helps in realizing it is almost never personal and the other person has a good reason for their position.
Keep emotions out of it. Good negotiations should never be personal. Know your position and limits well and it will help make it less emotional. Be prepared to stick to your convictions without becoming emotional. One thing that helps is to imagine all the many different ways the negotiation might go and what your response would be. A good plan always makes it easier to remain calm. Walking away calmly and saying “Sorry, but I cannot accept that” leaves the door open for the other person to later decide to compromise more. Becoming emotional will almost always end with failure.
Have patience. Some negotiations can take a long time. You may even think the negotiations are over and failed and then be surprised when the other person has changed their position or limit. Even when asking for a raise, a supervisor may say “no, we can’t do that right now” yet come back a month later to tell you they fought hard to get management to agree to a raise. Few people ever forget that someone asked for a raise if you present a good case for it and that can pay off down the road.
Look for our other blogs in this Life Skills series. “Conflict Resolution”, “Empathy”, “Listening”, & “Ability To Explain”.