I would like to touch on a final point about fitting in with autism, masking.
If you are experiencing this, you may be ashamed of expressing yourself.
People on the autistic spectrum resort to masking in dire social situations.
They may not know how to fully be themselves, so they develop a script.
A script is when you watch someone else’s behavior and try to mirror them.
The fifth grade is an early time where boys and girls are starting to discover themselves.
However, we may look to our peers at times and wish we had what they have.
For me, this was the case. I centered myself around outgoing friends.
I became surrounded by so much confidence that I wanted to be anyone but me.
Masking can be a number of things within you.
However, the most prevalent trait is hiding your true self from everyone.
It is okay to be afraid of who you are, however we can’t stay hiding forever.
If you are someone hiding your autism you may be trying to get a new job.
You may find out you have a crush on the opposite sex.
You could even be trying to communicate better with friends and family.
When I was growing up I had this close friend who got a lot of attention.
I admired him and looked up to him, I was ashamed of always appearing quiet.
I would eventually try to mask through his personality.
I started to act like him and talk like him.
This behavior would then carry to other aspects of my life.
I wouldn’t act like myself.
This behavior followed me into my teenage years.
I found friends who introduced me to drinking and smoking.
I just wanted acceptance, so I went along with what my friends were doing.
I thought I would be accepted as “being cool”.
However, it ended up becoming a problem in my life.
Masking so much caused me to become a person I didn’t like.
I ended up growing up losing friends around me.
I made my loved ones disappointed in me.
I had to accept responsibility for who I am.
When I started to seek help and meet better people was the turning point.
I became happy with my autism.
I have talked in depth about autism so far, rest assured there is nothing wrong with you.
You are unique, the best form of acceptance is learning to embrace your best qualities.
Perhaps you have an interest you just can’t stop talking about.
You could find comfort in a hobby, I became very interested in music.
I believe it’s important to remember that you are loved.
You have a support system and resources around you to help.
While the world around you may seem overwhelming, you can make an impact in it.
Embrace your friends, embrace the gifts you were born with.
I promise you, it’s okay to not mask anymore.
Be yourself, l promise kindness will find you.