Depending on a child’s maturity level, each child will be affected differently by their parent’s incarceration or their return home. Additionally, their relationship with their parent or parents, plus the type of offense, can greatly affect the child’s adjustment to incarceration and return home.
Recidivism is a third quality that can affect the relationship between the child and parent, should the parent return to prison.
On the parent’s end, they can have different relationships with their children or lack thereof. Some parents were not involved before incarceration, but may become involved during or after incarceration, while others may separate from their child during incarceration out of shame or hurt from the child’s reaction to their incarceration. While a select group were, and remain, involved with their child before, during, and after incarceration.
All of these variables can have a separate effect on the child-to-parent relationship.
Stages of Adjustment for Children:
It is important to first understand the stages a child might go through during the adjustment period of their parent’s return from incarceration.
Assuming there is still a relationship, the first stage of reentering will be an exciting time, and everyone will do their best to adjust and be helpful to one another, but this can lead to frustrations when an extra person changes everyday life patterns.
Children will notice changes in adults and the home, and they will begin to feel comfortable voicing their negative feelings towards their parents. A child may question if the parent’s return is temporary, especially if they are too young to understand the extent of the situation. Anytime the parent may leave for a valid reason, the child may assume they won’t ever come back. There has to be some form of reassurance in this case, so the child understands the parent’s role in their life.
This can move into testing rules and limits when children begin to defy adults or parents. It is a form of seeing if the parent can still “parent,” or check the ability of him or her after they were unable to also follow rules, specifically the law.
Notice, that a child might seem fine or okay on the outside, but some children are found to hide their emotions and questions, especially if they have gone through foster homes. This can be for many reasons, which can be an attempt to be polite to a stranger who is housing them, or an attempt to hide how affected they are and prevent outbursts. Lack of expression can be extremely harmful to someone of a young age if they do not figure out how to express their emotions in an appropriate way. Not knowing how to express emotions can then lead to aggression and outbursts because the child doesn’t know how to act.
Letting a child know their emotions are valid, they can be inquisitive, and providing them with reassurance are very important factors in reuniting a parent and child. Additionally, having the right type of professionals and care teams for the child while their parent is incarcerated is equally as important. Professionals will be able to understand these types of stages and how children react to this type of life pattern or obstacle. Professionals can also help parents in their task of returning home and reentering society in the proper way. These same professionals can help them understand how their children might also be feeling and what it will take for them to adjust.